Purple Reign: Day One

Cast your minds back, dear readers, to last week. Deer readers, you should cast your minds back as well, but I would like to spend some time with you later to learn where and how you developed such abilities as to understand the wiles of deer.

"I'm gettting a K...does your card start with a K? Cards are numbered? WHAT?"

“I’m getting a K…does your card start with a K? Cards are numbered?! WHAT?”

Last week I ranted about direction, and inspira- look, it’s right here. Refresh yourselves, okay? Right. So one of you, you five diligent readers, left me the following thought:

“I think you should spend a week writing about purple soft drink , each day post a poem, a short story, a haiku, a limerick about purple soft drink. Yeah that will do it. and maybe draw a picture of Batman fueling the Batmobile with purple soft drink.”

PURPLE SOFT DRINK. Have you ever had such a thing? Do you know where to find it? Do you know why it’s purple? I have heard of such things, and I know where to find it.

Exhibit A: Purple Soft Drink disguised as a box.

Exhibit A: Purple Soft Drink disguised as a box.

Never has the word “Fanta” meant less to me than after I looked this picture. Fanta is orange. The word has simply lost all meaning, and I don’t know why.

The past weekend I hunted down every supply of this magenta-coloured beverage, and bought it. I stocked every cupboard in my house with aluminium and plastic containers of this fizzy amethyst refreshment. I have become the LORD OF VIOLET DRINK. And I drank it. Oh, did I drink it…

And my mind opened, allowing the lilac liquid to completely be absorbed, and to enlighten my though processes with it’s plum purposes. And I came to one startling, and powerful question:


Grapes are not purple. And even the ones that look purple, are not purple within. Wine is white, or red, or pink if you get confused and accidentally mix the two. There is no purple wine. What? WHAT?

I will investigate. And I will know. Then you will know.

~ by nick on March 17, 2014.

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