Through The Looking Glass (24/11)
I stated yesterday that if I didn’t manage to do any writing today, making it three days in a row, I’d have to reconsider what I am attempting to do. And here I am today, telling you that this is not the case*, but because I put that little asterisk in, I’m alluding to the fact that the scenario of the three-days-no-words “case” is definitely not the case that I am here to report. (Confused? So am I, and I more-than-half-planned that sentence)
After a busy day that saw me celebrating the fifth decade of something I have enjoyed since a small child, I sat down before my computer, went thorugh my ritualistic opening of files and folders (I like to get them all open and in front of me straight away – if I was to use a real desk, it’d be all types of messy, all the time), I set myself a mental goal of what was going to be achieved, and…
Nothing happened. This was slightly paradoxical, as I was staring blankly, hands poised and motionless, but internally my brain was running at 2400 rpm – my brain could have been reaching cruising altitude (yeah, I picked that up from flying school yesterday), and yet…no words. Nada. As my old pal Lao Tzu once said, “One can not reflect in streaming water. Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.” Turns out Lao Tzu knows his stuff. The reason I couldn’t write, couldn’t create, was because my brain was throwing so many things around, ideas, words, concepts, that I simply didn’t know where to start. So, with that in mind, I did the most obvious thing: I went back and started from the start.
Now this doesn’t mean I started to re-write my entire manuscript back from the start, but rather my process. I got my cards out, I got the structure document, and then I went about re-telling my story to myself, in broad strokes. What happens on this day? Who is that person? Why do they have the names they do? I immersed myself once more in Port Amble, to get back into the groove, but also to refresh for myself what I am doing. As my other friend, Margaret Wheatley told me, “Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.” Mags knows her stuff.
So I did NOT achieve a record-breaking amount of written words today, but I also did not achieve NO words. I came to a happy medium of balance – some words, some refreshment of the discipline and bigger picture. And I google searched “reflection”. (The blog post title references one of my all-time favourite books, but I didn’t need Google for that).
End of Day Word Count: 31,041. (And a revitalised, rebooted plan!)
Thoughts In The Key Of N 