Movember 1st

Hello all,

If you are receiving this post, it can only mean one thing: I have decided to take up one of the simplest, but most socially awkward methods of supporting the ongoing efforts of various organisations dedicated to the eradication of prostate cancer and depression:  MOVEMBER.

I am not a good scientist nor am I a good therapist, but you’re welcome to lie on my couch, tell me about your childhood for an hour, and pay me exorbitant amounts. I am open to such transactions. I am also not an evil scientist, although I do have many of the prerequisites for such a career.

What I’m trying to say, is that once again I am dedicating my face to the annual event we call Movember. During this coming month, I will be doing my damnedest to grow a convincing moustache. During this coming month, I will also be endeavouring to entertain you, the general public, both with my face, and amusingly worded (however constant) emails on the topic of Movember. During this coming month, in return, I am hoping that you will support my public self-ridicule, and donate towards the event. There is no restrictions on donations (except they have to be money), and all amounts, big or small, will be gratefully received.

I have a Mospace page here. You will get regular updates on this page. This is not my Mospace page here

Last year I managed to break the $500 milestone. You people were so amused by my badly follicled face, you collectively donated half a grand to making the world a better place. You also encouraged me to not grow a moustache again – I’m sorry people, I endeavour to let you down.  Last year, I also made a pledge that if I breached this $500 barrier, I’d wax my arms. In hindsight this was a stupid move, as it just seemed to bring out the perverse philanthropy that hides within you all. This year, I have taken pre-emptive measures to prevent stakes being raised too high, and also hoping that the contrast will make my moustache more powerful in appearance. This year I’m looking to break that $500 barrier again. I also have plans for rewarding you, the generous public. Good plans.

Attached you will find the document I submitted to the Movember Council. It is, in some respects, a planning permit. I have indicated the zone in which construction is to occur, and done my level best to include details to distract from the fact that such a construction will be shoddy, time-consuming, and probably quite silly looking.

Over this month, you will receive daily emails. If you decide you cannot bear them anymore, tell me so – I will tearfully call you up and beg you change your mind, and probably reiterate this link one more time: Then I will stop sending them to you.

Please give, so that they may mo…*

(*this is a good indicator as to how bad my jokes are going to get…)

~ by nick on November 1, 2012.

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